How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.
–Annie Dillard
Right about a month ago, my sister started a blog. She wanted to create a 111-words-or-less daily snapshot, so she could look back in a month and see how she is spending her days slash life.
It just so happens I was thinking about this concept today, as I sat in an internal meeting, behind my desk, in my office, while six people were buzzing buzzing buzzing about the placement, design, and descriptions of things. Such frenzy. Such dilemmas. Such drama. And I’m thinking, wow, is this how I want to live my life? With the crazy and the buzzing. Working.
The current answer: Yes.
When I was younger, I had different answers for almost all things. I was quite positive I’d NEVER with a capitol NEVER work after I had children, if I had children. But then, low and behold, I did have a child. And, lucky for me, I had a choice. And I chose to try working for a few weeks. Mainly, just to get out of my pajamas.
Truth be told, it wasn’t quite that simple. Going back to work after I met the Hurricane was a fairly difficult decision and one I continue to make everyday. And as I review the dailies, I’m learning that as long as it works for us, it works for us. And right now, working more than works for me. At least it did today, drama meeting and all.
On this topic, and over all, here’s what I’ve come to dig–the fantastic freedom of making a choice everyday. Besides being completely great and refreshingly empowering, I’ve discovered it’s how I want to spend my life. Consciously making decisions. Consciously evaluating my options. And consciously doing it a day at a time. And only a day at a time.
This is kind-of hard.
And it’s a pretty big deal for me, because planning had become one of my hobbies. It’s how my brain works. It’s how I roll. I already know where we’re going on our next four vacations. I’ve already decided what I’m going to do for the Hurricane’s next birthday, next year. Hell, I already have names picked out for any additional pretend children that may potentially one day sometime maybe become real children in our house. Oh and I’ve thought ahead about what their Christmas stockings should be, should they become real children and actually need to have them.
It’s how I think, people, and I do it without thinking.
So now as I’ve started to get in the habit of thinking about living in this day, and this day only, I’ve found that it’s hard. But it’s pretty fun. And all of a sudden, I have more space.
I like that.
So, if we’re thinking in daily doses, and we’re thinking about life, how are you spending it? Kim recently asked a related question…if you could be spending it differently, would you? After all, we each only get an average of 27,000 days, give or take.
27,000 days.
Not that many, really. If you only had $27,000 to spend for the rest of your life, wouldn’t you spend it wisely? Maybe. I’d still buy chocolate though. Because I want to spend my life with a little chocolate.
The lovely photo above was borrowed from this gallery.
I am horrible at getting up in the morning, so I always start with a rush to get showered, find clean clothes, get all purtified, and get out the door. As often as not, I'm running too late to get on my bike and ride the half-mile to my office. Today I did so even though I was running late. I work in the mornings and attend school in the afternoons. Often both of these endeavors find me wasting a lot of time – on the internet, listening to music – then rushing to catch up.I think if I had to sum up the way I spend my time it would be slagging off, then running to catch up. In writing, work, school, cleaning house – part of me says I should give this pattern up. Part of me believes I do my best work under a lot of pressure, and in the meantime I really enjoy the slagging off.
I like to live in the day! Once I kind of got going on it, I learned this is a great fit for my personality: I don't have to be as organized! You have to be really orgnaized to keep track of the days behind you, the day you are in, and the days that have not even happened yet! It's why if I date someone, I date someone organized.Who knows if I will have a kid some day, get promoted, win the Mega Millions (I hope, I hope), own a home…and who cares?! I'll think about that tomorrow. Me and Scarlett O'Hara – totally rockin' the "living in the now." She was so ahead of her time.I thought this was single girl week?! Here is my contribution: do whatever you want. Someday you might not get to, and you'll wish you had carpe-ed that diem when you had the chance, baby.I am off to buy shoes with all my own money (and not on credit…paying cash is the single girl's friend.) Carpe Shoe-em!
I actually started a post about trying to live in the moment, and then deleted it because I didn't feel like it was true for me. I alwyas feel rushed and hurried and if given a choice, would choose not to live that way. Right now, with 4 kids that is the way it is, with me almost always coming last behind my kids in terms of importance. It is fine for now, but needs to change as they get older. I need to be conscious of the fact that I matter too and as they get older and are able to take care of themselves more, they should.
Wow, deep thoughts there lady. I just pray that I remember to put on deodorant and clean underwear every day.
I learned a lot of things when my mom died but the thing that affected me the most was to appreciate and enjoy every day. No matter how difficult, how hard, how shitty, there is beauty in every single day. Sometimes you have to look a little harder for it and sometimes it's so obvious it hurts. But it's there, every day.Great post.
Radioactive, I so hear you. And I'm not at all saying I'm there. AND, I only have one, so really, I need to just shut up. But you're right, this is another post entirely. The whole concept of needing to put your kids first…but then the idea that kids need to see their moms putting themselves first too. It's a big topic. And I'm so not the expert on that at all. I'd be interested to hear what you had to say on the topic. If you write it, let me know. Nikki, I hear you. Adn please know, I'm making no claims to good hygiene. Or sanity.Super Zoe, You are fab. There's no disputing it.Mamatulip, You are living it!
what a thought provoking post! and i'm with you all the way with the chocolate – because we want lives of beauty, joy and oh yeah – chocolate too!
You are so my Shero. I love the way your mind works. I can't decide what I admire most your blog name(the freakin' coolest name ever), your nickname for your son, or the fact that some how you've managed to live your dreams (thanks for the link). I so want to be you when I grow up!
Most of the time Id have to say I am doing what I want to be doing. There was a time like you, I said I would never have children. Then as I got a little older, I couldnt wait to have a baby. I work Monday thru Friday 7:30 – 4:30 and we live a very routine life. But I like it like that. Some days I think I would like to me a SAHM but then after spending a day home with one of them sick, I cant wait to get back to work.
Thanks, GcQ! It is probably important to say this:if you live in the day, be sure that remember one of the days has GOT to be the day you pay your bills. Just a tip from experience.
Superzoe, good word.I've recently looked at myself and realised I'm 42 with two teenagers. Natural, I think, to look at the 'backside' of life and make some changes. I have been a craft-making, cookie-baking supermommy, but is it awful to admit I'm looking forward to empty nest syndrome?
I like that concept – examining each day to make sure it's how you want to use it. I'm guilty of doing that months apart, instead of sooner.
I totally get you, GcQ. I'm also planner by nature – though I think I picked that up after losing a few key people in my life as a child/teen. (Step-dad, dad and best friend) As a result, I like to control things and thus plan, but lately I think I'd like to live more in the day too.Thanks for the great post!
Robyn, all people looking forward to restful reward after a job well done! I would be more worried if you were dreading empty nest! You deserve a break after 18+ years of dedication, labor, and love!
I have been trying to comment for days but was getting blocked by blogger. How exciting for me.This is a great question because it is one that I think about a lot. To be honest, I think I have a good balance. Three kids doesn't leave much time for me ot the do "fun" things that I want to, but we are blessed to be able to live on my husbands income. This allows me to stay home and find the time to do the things I need to/want to. I loved working and I miss it sometimes, but I am so very grateful to have the choice.Options are a wonderful thing. I need to ponder this some more. Thanks for the comments at DM. I had a sudden case of stage fright.
I'm pretty much an "in the moment" kind of person, so I don't know what I'd do differently. Today after work I drove to a nearby town to hear one son play with his jazz band, then drove back to watch another son play in a basketball game. Now I'm spending time just home with the remaining two kids. We're all doing different things, but we're here. No regrets today about time, but some about the state of the neglected house.As for the money? Your chocolate would be my flowers.
This is way too deep for me. But, I did just take an online longevity quiz and learned that I am almost exactly half-way through my life, so this whole notion of making every day count has some renewed significance. In fact, pretty soon I might even start treating each day as if it were my last. But that would be living a different kind of life altogether.
Wow, next four vacations? So then I should be able to know whether LA's on your list.Thoughtful post. I'm mixed in my approach. I can be a dreamer and see the world as full of exciting possibiities. Who knows where or what I'll be doing in a year? But sometimes making dreams come true and pushing yourself to new possibilities means, well, planning. And thinking ahead. And opening the door to that possibility.In my day to day, I do just want to enjoy. Trying to live a balanced life, and like it. Honestly, work gets in the way of that a lot, but that's me. I've never been a workaholic or career-oriented by nature. So when the I can't enjoy the grinds of my day, I turn to the unknown world and what it may hold for me!
Interesting. I have 4 kids, but had a whole different take than Radioactive Girl. I was going to say that my 4 kids force me to live in the moment, day-by-day. I'm a planner, but you can't really plan for all the chaos 4 kids bring you. Instead, you roll with it and learn to enjoy it. I guess it's not so much about making decisions as your post implies, it's more about accepting the crazy daily adventure that my past decisions have led to.
Yes! Exactly Jill. It IS about making decisions…making the decision to roll with it all and live in the moment, day, whatever. And Fiz, hey there friend.
This is such a great entry! I was the same, "I will never work after I have children". i could have stayed home after my first. I chose to go back after 8 weeks and see how things went. I truly enjoy being a working mother, even more so now that I have 2 babes. Thanks for making me think!
I just wanted to say – oh my God – that's one of my favorite quotes in the world and I can't believe I never knew where it came from until now. Thank you for that. Okay onto the rest of the post…