Did I ever tell you about the day I met Wendi McLendon-Covey and she said that she would be my best friend forever? Well, that shit happened, y’all.
After some negotiation, I said she would have to share the spot with my other BFF Jenny...(if only because Jenny helped me come up with my questions for Wendi…by the way, all of Jenny’s questions were banned (big surprise!)…but also because Jenny took to me see Bridesmaids even though she’d already seen it twice…PLUS, she snuck in two bottles of wine for us to drink during the movie…and that’s a friendship you just can’t question). But Wendi said she was willing to share the role and to take me to the airport…because THAT’S WHAT BEST FRIENDS DO!!!! I’m not sure why I’m yelling.
Anyway, I had fun this summer cooking up sausage for Hillshire Farm (Farm: singular; Sausage: plural), and this was the final fun with that. Check it.
The next day, I saw Wendi as she was leaving, and she was all…”Hey best friend!” Because she’s awesome. And can remember people she met only hours before like she’s a freaking brain surgeon or something. Impressive. Seriously, you guys all want her as your best friend. But alas, she is mine. I swear. I have edited footage on a cutting room floor or on some guy’s computer somewhere to prove this.
Bottom line: Wendi is smart and funny and hot. All the things you want in a best friend. Plus, her first boyfriend was called Bubba. Also plus, after meeting me, she started wearing this wig that looks, um, curiously and exactly like my hair…See?!!!…
Yeah. So she may be a stalker, but she’s my stalker. And I will have her take me to the airport. Also, in addition, and furthermore, I always go see anything Wendi is in with her talented self. And I’ll bring Jenny along with me. Because Jenny will always bring wine. And that’s what best friends do.