One thing about unexpectedly having an only child is that all of these monumental milestones can unexpectedly compound and bring a rush of emotion with them. In the same moment, you experience A FIRST! A LAST! AN ONLY! All flavors of extreme emotion, all at the same time. And then it’s gone.
The day before the first week of kindergarten was one of those whoah-where-did-that-come-from milestones. I figured I’d feel all the feelings that you expect to feel on the first day of school, sure. (Big Kid! Grown Up! School Time!) But I didn’t expect to simultaneously mourn the loss of living with a preschooler ever again. Where did that come from? When was that occurring? How did that happen so fast?
The beginnings, the middles, the endings. All in the same seconds.
Of course, being present in these seconds is essential…and joyful…but also a little painful. And sometimes it’s almost too much to take.
I miss my preschooler already.
At the same time, I’m so excited to see what’s next for my big school kid.
There’s a lot going on in my head and in my heart.
Being a parent is so weird.