A few years ago, my sister coined the phrase, “If it’s pink, I drink.” She means it. And it makes complete sense to me. Pink lemonade, cosmopolitans, watermelon margaritas. All of it. And honestly, I’ve never been able to think of one good reason not to drink any of those things, so I’ve also made it a policy to never refuse the pink drink; and in doing so, I’ve completely stolen the phrase for myself. After all, my sister lives 2000 miles away in Cambridge, and really, people in Cambridge don’t listen to what any of the rest of us say anyway.
However, when I said that January was completely pink, I wasn’t really thinking about my sister’s phrase. And I wasn’t thinking that I’d actually only be consuming pink for the next few days. But as it turns out, if it’s not pink, I currently won’t get near it.
I’m sure you’ve heard all the diet talk this week. In fact, there are some excellent online ‘new year, new you’ support groups that many fantastic people are leading and joining. They’re all good. But what’s buzzing in my world is the “cleansing” diet. Where you only drink pinky limey syrupy liquid for something like 27 days in order to “cleanse” your system of anything not pinky limey syrupy and/or liquid. Well, a few friends I know are doing this because the “cleansing” is so trendy that seemingly sane people everywhere are choosing to forgo their individual rooms and spend the night in the fantasy suite where there is NO FOOD FOR 27 DAYS!
At first, I couldn’t get my brain around it. But then one person at my office said she’d lost seven pounds in her first two days of “cleansing”. And that sounded pretty good. Then I started thinking, if you do this, then you don’t have to worry about cooking anything, you never have to concern yourself with what you’ll have for your next meal, you never have to dig around in your car for Taco Bell change, none of it. Because you just drink all this pink stuff all day long until you’re thoroughly, totally, and completely “cleansed”. Plus, it can’t be all that bad for you because the Whole Foods near my house has a whole big display on it. A giant colorful be-good-to-your-colon display with a looped-video playing on the flat-panel, high-def monitor. So it must be super healthy, right?
Well, I have no idea. Because there’s no way in heck I’ve even been able to think about any of this because I’ve caught a mild virus, and all I’ve wanted to consume for the last few days is Pepto. Pink Pepto. Pink Bismol.
Because I’m sick. And I’m sick of it. And my incredible HcQ is sick of it because he’s doing almost all the heavy lifting. Believe me, it’s annoying for all of us. The thing is, I’m only sick enough to where I’m nauseous every minute of the day (and sometimes puking), but mainly completely functional and nauseous. I was even pretty well able to fake not sick at an incredible Indian dinner last night that a friend’s incredible Indian parents made for a fun group. It was completely amazing. And I really couldn’t stomach any of it. And I swear to got, I’m not pregnant. I checked. I’m not. It’s a stomach virus. So that means I should be eating solid foods again eventually. Hopefully. When I said 2007 was the year of pink, this is not what I had in mind.