Damn It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta.

August 23, 2010

On Saturday, I got back from the beach to a bunch of tweets from my friend Jenny, who was in distress after her dog died, which resulted in her running around her yard with a machete trying to murder vultures. (Long story here.) I called her to see if she was okay, and she clearly wasn’t, so I told her I was walking out to door, to drive to her place, to dig up her dead dog. (Other long story here.) It was not how I’d expected the day to go, but sometimes, that’s just how things roll out. On the way to Jenny’s house, I was crossing the Devil’s Backbone (that’s really what it’s called) and I thought, A.) If I have to go over the Devil’s Backbone to get to Jenny’s new place, that must mean that one of us resides near the Devil’s Brain and one near the Devil’s Asshole. (I don’t want to think about which  lives where.) and B.) I’ve never dug up a dead body before, but surely I can do this. This is what my grandmother would have done. Without blinking. In fact, this is just the kind of thing that randomly occurs in Central Texas. Get used to it. Oh how my life has changed. So I went. And it wasn’t all that bad. (Well, it was kind-of bad. But mainly, it was just great to help.) Most importantly, we did it. We took care of it. In 10 minutes time, we were able to lift a major weight that had troubled a friend for days. Not by thinking (obviously) or analyzing, or proselytizing. But by doing. Teamwork.

Soundtrack: Predictably, The Geto Boyz

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  • Reply physicsmom August 23, 2010 at 1:04 am

    Laura – you are the epitome of a go-to friend and I salute you! Thank you for taking care of our virtual friend Jenny. You rock it hard! And the picture is awesome!

  • Reply cathy August 23, 2010 at 3:32 am

    You are a beautiful person and a true friend.
    I want a Laura.

  • Reply jules August 23, 2010 at 4:09 am

    Ya’ll live in Texas. Texans are supposed to be able to do stuff like that.

    P.S. You both look like bad*sses in that photo.

  • Reply Jenny, Bloggess August 23, 2010 at 5:29 am

    We should have demolished a copier while we were at it.


    PS. You rock. Hard.

  • Reply Lindsay {DW} August 23, 2010 at 5:35 am

    First, I cried my EYES out reading Jenny’s post the other day – glad it followed up with this. SO great to see an amazing friendship and yea, that photo really is bad ass.


  • Reply Pamela August 23, 2010 at 9:18 am

    When I move to Central Texas, you can both count on me to be a part of your posse! I will have to bring my kids, but they like watching videos, too.

  • Reply Jami August 23, 2010 at 9:52 am

    Y’all make me proud to be a Texas woman!

    And Jenny? Not only is there no Paper Jam, there’s not even any Paper Jelly. Although I’m sure Paper Jelly probably tastes like paste so we’re probably not missing anything there.

  • Reply Adam August 23, 2010 at 9:53 am

    I’ve always heard the axiom “A friend will help you move. A REAL friend will help you move a body.” I never thought of it in the context that you and Jenny just did, but still applies 100%. Great job being a REAL friend.

  • Laura Harrison Mayes
    Reply laura August 23, 2010 at 9:55 am

    Adam, you are a poet. Truer words have never been typed.

    And any of you would have done the same thing…assuming you own heavy work gloves and a shovel.

  • Reply Redd August 23, 2010 at 10:04 am

    You are an awesome friend.
    Also, the pictures of the two of you are damn funny.

  • Reply Victoria Mixon August 23, 2010 at 12:02 pm

    Wait a minute–you guys dug up a dead dog in a spaghetti-strap dress and a strapless tube top? And didn’t even get dirt on yourselves? You’re magicians.

    I’d have had to do it in a flannel shirt the size of Alaska, and by the time I was done I’d have looked like I’d crawled out of the grave myself.

  • Reply Barchbo August 23, 2010 at 1:19 pm

    First of all, those are very cute and stylish gravedigging togs! Next time, call me – I’ll come help! I’m never too pregnant to help a friend in need. Or, at least bring snacks and beergaritas. And Febreze.

    Cathy, having a Laura is the greatest! I hope I am Laura’s Laura, too. Because everyone should have a Laura. But to have a Laura, I have to try to be a Laura.

    Okay, most of that second paragraph came off like Mad Libs or Smurfs, but I hope you get what I mean. Laura, you’re the best.

  • Reply Aimee Greeblemonkey August 23, 2010 at 3:25 pm

    You rock gangsta sista friend.

  • Reply greg cryns August 24, 2010 at 4:38 pm

    Oh, now I understand.

    When Jenny mentioned VULTURES it made me wonder where she lives. We don’t have no stiking vultures in my area, nor where I used to live. Never saw a vulture before, except maybe at the zoo.

    So, I checked your “About” and found you live in Texas. Since you know Jenny and could drive over to her house, then I figure she must also live in Texas, unless you live on the western border next to New Mexico.

    When I lived in New Mexico I remember seeing bumper stickers that were not exactly kind to Texans, if you know what I mean. 😉

    Anyway, I’m sorry Jenny’s dog croaked and you had to dig him up. That’s one gig I hope I never do.

  • Reply Bodaciousboomer August 24, 2010 at 7:03 pm

    I’m so glad you were there for Jenny. As if Barnaby Jones dying wasn’t enough, then having to rebury him. I don’t know how you two did it. You’re a great friend indeed.

  • Reply A Vapid Blonde August 27, 2010 at 11:04 am

    You are my kind of woman. Also it’s really disappointing and awkward when you realize the people you *thought* you could count on to hide a body end up being pussies.

    Jenny is lucky to have someone like you in her life!

  • Reply Anne W. Lupton August 27, 2010 at 12:36 pm

    Three things: 1) so sorry about Jenny’s dog – always a heart breaker; 2) have you heard Todd Snider’s song “The Ballad of the Devil’s Backbone Tavern” from Near Truths and Hotel Rooms? Hilarious. 3) if this writing gig doesn’t work out, you’ve at least got a great back-up plan: gravedigger extraordinaire (I dare you to put that on your resume!).

    Also, how’s my cow Flora doing?

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