So about a month ago, a few days before I left for ALT NYC, I was barefoot in my kitchen, moving too quickly and making Harry some cereal, when I slipped and (because my hands were holding a ceramic bowl full of milk and cereal) landed flat on my ass. Down fast and hard, cereal and milk everywhere. It hurt. Super hurt. In fact, the whole thing was so surprisingly unexpected and uncharacteristic, I started crying…which is also uncharacteristic and really should have been my first clue. But, because I’m not 80, I thought, whatever,  I fell down, no big deal.

However, it kept hurting, only kind of even more. And three weeks later, after conferring with an orthopedic surgeon friend, I realized that I had broken my tailbone.

So my tailbone is broken. But there’s nothing anyone can really do for that, except just sort of wait for it to heal. (People keep asking me if I’m sitting on a donut. Um no. Too much trouble.) But it has made me think more about my body and how I’m caring for it, or not caring for it really. Instead I’m just moving too fast through my day, silently obsessing about the fact that my jeans don’t fit the same way they used to, or that I often see weird things on my neck (like a variety of chins) in photos…instead of seeing the gigantic laugh and awesome memory. It’s nuts.

And it’s all been coming together for me over the last few weeks. I think I’m understanding some of the sources of my problem.

I was talking to Sara Urquhart last weekend, and she told me this excellent story about how she went to a consultation with a trainer, where the trainer asked a variety of questions including “How would you rate your body on a scale of one to 10, with 10 being the highest?” Sara thought about it. She was up at 6 am, got her kids off to school, spent some time with her husband, got 27 other things done in the next five hours before her appointment. Her body was rocking it out before noon. So she answered directly: “Oh, probably an 8 or a 9.” The trainer, who was probably more used to women answering, “Um, I don’t know, three?,” was clearly and visibly surprised and even, for a moment, speechless. Immediately, Sara knew she was done with this appointment and with this trainer. Sara is one of my heros.

And hearing her story, and laughing, I realized how right her thinking is and how much I want to think like her. My body is awesome. It takes me where I need to go. And it reminds me that getting out of balance can result in a giant pain in the ass.

As I mentioned last week, Brene’ Brown’s new book (Daring Greatly) has challenged me with the phrase, What would you be glad that you did, even if you failed?  Trying to be active in any way always ends in total failure for me. I start running and pull things. I buy a yoga class package and then never go. Hell, I make cereal and break my tailbone. So. I stop being active. Because it’s a reminder how I fail at things, and then, I fail at being active at all. And that’s not good.

Because I’m not 80 (And thank God for that, because if I were, that fall would have killed me dead. In my kitchen. Awesome.) And I need to stop acting like it. I need to get up and get going and keep my body active. I need to swim. I need to run in one of those color 5Ks. I need to find a pair of jeans that I love. I need to feel better about myself. And I’ll be glad I tried to do that, even if I fail. (I’m not actually sure what failing at that means anyway, because I can’t fail more than I am right now.)

Also, I really hope someone asks me how I feel about my body…because I want to say, even with the broken tailbone, “A solid 8.” I’ll take it up to a 9 after I do that color run.

I should probably eat less sugar on a stick too. I’ll work on that next. Or, eventually. 

To make this happen, I got my prescription from my doctor and ordered them myself online (It’s would be totally impossible for me to afford 7 pairs of glasses from my optometrist.) And I found this site that I now tell everyone (including you) about. (Seriously, everyone asks me about these glasses…just this morning, like 10 minutes ago, the three girls that work at the bank next door to my office all sort of bombarded me when I went in. So that happened.)

So here it is. The secret to owning 7 pairs of glasses: This site. 

They run about $20 to $60 a piece. You put in your own prescription (It’s yours, take it with you, and don’t buy the expensive glasses at your optometrist’s office. Seriously. Major markup.) And about 10 days later or less, they’re in your mail. Done.

This sounds like an advertisement. It’s not. This isn’t even a sponsored post. It’s an above-and-beyond love post. Because I love my glasses. I am asked where I got them all the time. All the time. And because 1800specs will be at the Kirtsy Girl Guy SXSWi party with frames and coupons and other treats, I’m sure. (However, if you can’t come to the party, you can still get 50% off any prescription-filled frames of your choosing at 1800specs.com until March 31st. Code: Kirtsy.) Get your prescription and get your glases. You’re welcome.

Happy SXSW week! (Oh. I totally plan to take some shots of all the hipster glasses that are about to descend like flies on this tiny little town we call Weird. I’ll report back.)

Let’s do this.

1. Make a life list.

2. Keep a jar of sharpened pencils on my desk. Always.

3. Have a gigantic sale to get rid of all the stuff I don’t use.

4. Grow a pumpkin patch.

5. Learn to throw pottery.

6. Walk across the Brooklyn bridge.

7. Learn how to make tortillas from scratch.

8. Go real camping with someone who knows how to real camp. And just follow directions and/or stand around while that person does all the hard parts.

9.  Knit a blue hat.

10. Make apple cider. Or some sort of hooch.

11. Have Harry teach me how to play chess.

12. Own super-fancy, awesome-to-sleep-on sheets.

13. Work at a restaurant, waiting tables.

14. Work retail.

15. Have a cool pair of glasses for every day of the week.

16. Go to the Oprah show. Wear fun shoes.

17. Make a pinata.

18. Make pickles.

19.  Learn how to can things. In Mason jars.

20. Learn how to whistle loud, like I’m hailing a cab.

21. Make pasta from scratch

22. Make a quilt.

23. Fix up my great grandmother’s house and make it like I want it. (Fix it up, make it pretty, keep it tidy.)

24. Take Harry to Disney World.

25. Have fancy dinners at these 10 restaurants in the US: Alinea, Per Se, Daniel, Le Bernardin, Chez Panisse, Blue Hill Stone Barns. Uchiko, Clio, Canlis, French Laundry.

26. Go to Denmark. Visit the original Lego Land. Eat at Noma.

27. See Italy: Rome. Venice. Florence. Milan. Cinque Terra. Capri. Sorrento. San Gimignano. Portofino. Assisi.

28. Stay at the Le Sirenuse spa in Positano.

29. Eat at Osteria Francescana in Modena.

30. Visit Australia. See Sydney, Kata Tjuta, and a koala.

31. Spend a couple of nights on Mont St. Michel in France. (I’ve been, but I want to stay there for a few overnights.)

32. Visit Santorini

33. Visit the Parthenon.

34.  Visit Iguazu Falls.

35. Visit Dollywood.

36. See Cuba.

37. Stay in a glass igloo in Kakslauttanen, Finland + see an Aurora Borealis

38. Visit all 58 National Parks in the US: Acadia, American Samoa, Arches, Badlands, Big Bend, Biscayne, Black Canyon of the Gunnison, Bryce Canyon, Canyonlands, Capitol Reef, Carlsbad Caverns, Channel Islands, Congaree, Crater Lake, Cuyahoga Valley, Death Valley, Denali, Dry Tortugas, Everglades, Gates of the Arctic, Glacier, Glacier Bay, Grand Canyon, Grand Teton, Great Basin, Great Sand Dunes, Great Smoky Mountains, Guadalupe Mountains, Haleakala, Hawaii Volcanoes, Hot Springs, Isle Royale, Joshua Tree, Katmai, Kenai Fjords, Kings Canyon, Kobuk Valley, Lake Clark, Lassen Volcanic, Mammoth Cave, Mesa Verde, Mount Rainier, North Cascades, Olympic, Petrified Forest, Redwood, Rocky Mountain, Saguaro, Sequoia, Shenandoah, Theodore Roosevelt, Virgin Islands, Voyageurs, Wind Cave, Wrangell Saint Elias, Yellowstone, Yosemite, Zion (Thanks for the inspiration, Leslie!)

39. Explore 25 major cities outside North America as an adult: London,  Paris, Cairo, Tokyo, Rio de Janeiro, Beijing, Kyoto, Madrid, Nairobi, Istanbul, Cape Town, Amsterdam, Athens, Zurich, Edinburgh, Bangkok, Rome, Reykjavik, Mexico City, Seoul, Mumbai, Moscow, Buenos Aires, Berlin, Dubai.

40. Find a local charity to support and volunteer my time.

41. Attend a Seder.

42. See the Marfa lights.

43. Sponsor someone for Women for Women International.

44.  Visit the Rosslyn Chapel.

45. Write a story set around a chapel, church, or a cathedral.

46. Stay in a convent for a week.

47. Sign over a full paycheck to the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

48. Have my own office.

49. Get another degree.

50. Live in New York City.

51. Work at a cute retail shop in New York City. But probably not a clothes shop.

52. Visit Fallingwater.

53. Go on a sleigh ride.

54. Record an original song.

55. Produce a reading tour of bloggers.

56. Throw a party in someone’s grand estate.

57. Run a 5K.

58. Run a 10K.

59. Run a Half Marathon.

60. Drink tea in China.

61. Drink bourbon in Kentucky.

62. Drink vodka in Russia.

63. Drink scotch in Scotland.

64. Drink whiskey in Ireland.

65. Drink beer in Germany. At Oktoberfest.

66. Drink champagne in France. In Champagne.

67. Drink a caipirinha in Brazil. In Rio.

68. Drink sake in Japan.

69. Drink ouzo in Greece.

70. Be able to make a stable of things really well…basically, have specialty items: Homemade bread, pancakes (or waffles or some related breakfast item), a soup, a sandwich, a green salad, a meal salad,  a cookie, a savory pie, a sweet pie, a cake, an Indian dish, a Mexican dish, fried chicken, black-eyed peas, fried green tomatoes, salsa, gingerbread, an appetizer, a casserole, an old-fashioned drink.

71.  Make yearbooks for Harry.

72. Have a mantle in my house. Line it with photos of my favorite people. Decorate it each holiday/season.

73. Make Christmas stockings.

74. Host a Holiday dinner for 25 people (or more).

75. Only give homemade gifts one Christmas (but they have to be good).

76. Start a meditation practice of some kind.

77. Own a lake house. I use the word house loosely.

78. Own an Eames chair.

79. Own an old truck.

80. Host a BINGO party.

81. Host a costume party.

82. Throw a dinner party by the San Marcos river.

83. Grow a vegetable garden.

84. Make a scarecrow.

85. Spend Christmas somewhere where it’s snowing.

86. Be someone’s fairy godmother.

87. Read a book series with Harry.

88. Play Scrabble with Harry.

89. Make hot cross buns with Harry.

90. Be independently wealthy. Just enough so that money isn’t a worry.

91. Live in the Lake District of England for a time.

92. Celebrate Harry’s graduation from high school and college.

93. Go on some sort of pilgrimage.

94. Experience zero gravity.

95. Go to an official film premiere and after party. With some kind of super awesome VIP tickets. Because somehow I contributed to the writing, development, or production of this film. Not on-screen stuff. Just life experience stuff.

96. Sell a company.

97. Start a scholarship for a happy reason.

98. Start a writer’s grant.

99. See my son grow to be a man.

100. Celebrate something every day.

*Photo is from Apollinas. Citrus Cake with Lemon Curd Filling and Orange Lemon Icing. I want that to be my cake in #70.

For years now, I’ve made Yearlong To-Do Lists, Tax-Day-to-Tax-Day Lists, Birthday-to-Birthday Lists. Basically, small-section versions of the beloved Life Lists. But since moving to the country, it seems that seasons have started to matter more. Even our weird seasons in Texas. And not to go all moon-cycle Farmer’s Almanac on you, but it’s a pretty big deal around here. Almost visceral. I like that.

Also, I bet you already know this, but every season starts on the 21st (June 21st, Sept. 21, Dec. 21, March 21). So riffing off that, I wrote up 21 things I want to do before next June 21, 2012…

Things grow with the seasons…and I’m going with it.

Let’s do this.

01. Take Harry to Disney World. It’s number one for enumerable reasons.

02. Develop the practice of walking and walk a marathon. Oh heck, why not? This could be the year.

03. Refurbish the old chicken coop and get chickens. Pretty chickens.

04. Learn to make bread. And make it fairly regularly. Also, learn how to make tortillas from scratch.

05. Take painting lessons. This will be on my list every year until I actually do it. So help me Listmaking God.

06. Throw Harry a rad 6-year-old birthday party in our own backyard.

07. Buy a piece of art. Real art. For real.

08. Establish 40 go-to recipes. (In the works)

09. Install that cheery porch swing. Because seriously how hard could that be? (It’s only been on the list for two years now.)

10. Throw a dinner party on the San Marcos River.

11. Take a yoga class with Harry.

12. Drink whiskey at a pub in Ireland and scotch at a pub in Scotland.

13. Visit the Rosslyn Chapel

14. Visit Gabby in France.

15. Attend a seder at Laurie’s house.

16. Create a new event.

17. Plant some trees. A fig tree. A lemon tree. A lime tree. An apple tree. A pear tree. A pomegranate tree. And an almond tree.

18. Go to the beach with my extended family.

19. Plant a seasonal garden every season.

20. Re-do my great grandmother’s house. The never-ending item.

a. Re-do my bedroom.

b. Create a closet that’s functional and beautiful.

c. Re-do the mudroom/laundry room.

d. Redesign my living room/dining room.

e. Finish the bathroom.

f. Re-do the kitchen.

g. Make the backyard pretty.

21. And post here almost every day. This will be the hardest of all. And if I do it, I will win a prize. (I can’t wait to see what the prize will be!)

Soundtrack: When I Grow Up & Everybody’s Gotta Live.

I’m working on a list of things I want to do this year. Things I want to accomplish. Things I want to experience. You get the gist. And I want to be very intentional (or as intentional as possible) as I do this.

So last week, as I was thinking about this next year, I kept scribbling “whole living,” “living whole,” “a whole life,” things like that, on a piece of paper next to my computer. Then I wrote “A Year of Whole Living” on another piece of paper, and started making my list. I’m still working on it. And I think I will continue to do so over the next week or two.

But. Then. Something weird happened.

I received an email out of the blue from a woman I respect who offered me a number of free subscriptions to Whole Living magazine, a health & lifestyle magazine from the publishers of Martha Stewart Living. So I have 24 (24!) of these bad boys to give away. But more importantly, do you see what’s happening here? I was offered a bunch of year-long subscriptions to Whole Living. In other words “A Year of Whole Living.”

Universe, you are officially freaking me out.

So this is what I’m going to do.

I never do giveaways. But right here, right now, I’m giving away 24 one-year subscriptions to Whole Living magazine plus 24 Whole Living Totes. Party. Just leave a comment telling me an item on your dreamy life to-do list this year, and you’re registered to win. I’ll pick 24 people at random with randomizer. You have until Friday, May 13th. And seriously dude, I hope you win.

*If you’ve never seen it/never read it, Whole Living is about living a sustainable lifestyle.  Green stuff, stylish life stuff, healthy recipes,  holistic beauty techniques, natural remedies for sleep and stress. Etc.) Exactly.  What we talk about here. Check it out: www.wholeliving.com. And if you want to give this to someone (I just bought subscriptions for myself, my mom, my mother-in-law, my sister, and my sisters-in-law), you can get 10 issues for $10 at www.wholeliving.com/discount. It’s an easy gift. Happy Mother’s Day, family! (Also, you family members mentioned above won’t win this comment contest thing because I already bought these for you and they’re coming in the mail. You’re welcome in advance.)

**Also. This is not a sponsored thing/contest/post/dance at all. I’m being paid nothing to do this. I just thought the kismet was too irresistible to resit. And I love Martha. And I want you to win one of these magazines. Because that’s fun.

***Photo by Maile Wilson. Taken at Mighty Summit. Of Mena Trott riding a bicycle. It really looks like Mena is wholeheartedly living life there, doesn’t it?

The winners were chosen by Random.org…

AND THE WINNERS ARE….

(I’ve emailed all of you to send me your addresses. Hooray!)

1. Kate

2. Kelly W

3. Anne

4. Caroline

5. Christina

6. Jeanine Arnold

7. Tawnya

8. Grace

9. Rochelle

10. Karen

11. Shannon

12. Robin

13. Angie

14. Ananda

15. Shilo

16. Megan

17. Rachael

18. Alicia

19. Shasta

20. Kenna

21. Tian

22. Pam

23. Roxanna

24. Lori C

25. Christina

Congrats, all! And here’s to Whole Living!

“Since my dad died, I think a lot about what kind of life I really want for me and for my family. It’s the struggle all women face. We have all these aspirations. We want this, and we want that. We take on too many activities, too many commitments. But, really, if you can figure out how to spend time with the people you love, how to laugh, and how to take care of yourself, that’s the whole thing right there. That’s the very best part of life.” –Gwyneth Paltrow  (You can read the entire interview here.)

I think that makes a lot of sense.

And so I’m going to focus on those things.

The short version: I grew a ton of pumpkins (Hooray! That was the point!)

But instead of making a pie out of them, I painted them. Or, rather, Harry painted them.

Here’s how it went down.

The pumpkins that ended up growing were not the pumpkins planted for yummy pies, but the ones planted for pretty decor.

So, okay. Awesome. We had nice decor for the Fall Porch.

But then it was Christmas.

And then the pumpkins looked kinda weird.

Something else that looked weird on our porch…these orangish yellow chairs that were starting to mold. Yes, mold. Gross.

So I de-molded them and started to paint them. Red. Cherry. Christmasey.

You might guess what happened next.

Hurricane Harry entered the scene.

He wanted to help. I said no way, little brother. He persisted. Then he whined. Then he negotiated. Then he started over again with the persisting. This cycle went on for a long time.

Then, I had an idea.

What? You don’t let your 63-month-old play with spray paint? Weird.

Harry painted all the orange pumpkins red.

I think it turned out quite nice. Don’t you?

Early next year, we’ll pop out the green ones…and I think we’re set until after Valentine’s Day.

He said he wanted a Tiger Woods party.

Right. Okay. I said anything. So. I figured we’d just order up some hookers and blow and call it a day.

I kid. After a few questions, I realized he thought Tiger Woods was a character on Wii, like Mario or Kirby or Zelda. After I explained that he was actually a real person (I think I said he was an actual real boring grownup who mainly talked about politics and taxes), Harry was less into him. He was still set on golf though. He wanted golf, and a trophy, and a lot of balloons.Completely fine. Done. (The invites are here)

. There’s a great putt-putt golf course in Austin that has been around since the 40s.

Perfect. In fact, my mother used to go to birthday parties here. So did my brother and I. It’s been set up for this kind of thing for years. (Easy. Awesome.)

It’s no surprise that the kids had a great time.

They took over the course, and in complete Montessori fashion sorta played in whatever order suited them. Hole 1, followed by hole 7, then over to hole 12, back to hole 4, and then on and on. They looked like little ants roaming around to do random tasks, tasks like hitting a ball through a pig’s castle.

Then they had pizza from Home Slice.

And then came the sugar. Sugar is like the Olympics to the Montessori kid. It only happens every so often, and they usually only see it on TV.

Ha! I kid. Who owns a TV? Not us! No way. Total waste of time.

(We totally own a TV.)

(Also, we serve children sugar. Lots of sugary sugar.)

Then my dad started telling the sugared-up children stories about the olden days when you could bring peanut butter to school. This is when everyone started to grab their kids and head home. Good timing. I always suggest strategically placing a grandfather to get a party wrapped up. It works, y’all.

All in all, it was the easiest party I’ve ever done for him. It involved three phone calls, a balloon pick up, and setup on ready picnic tables. In the end, the place was low-key ready, the golf was plentiful, and the pizza was delivered.

And it was exactly how Harry wanted it.

But speaking of numbers, I have 40 things that I’ve dared myself to do in the next 107 days. And by all accounts, I’ve done 10 of them. 6 are ongoing/in the works. And I have 14 to go. In other words, I have one more cool thing to do every 5.35 days.  I think I’m in trouble. That is, if you could actually get in trouble for not doing awesome things you want to do.

I’m going to take a moment to contemplate that last sentence.

………

Okay, I’m back.

And here’s how it’s looking…

The 40 Before I’m 40 List.

DONE:

02. Learn a lot more about cheese. (DONE. Post to come.)

07. Throw Harry a rad 5-year-old birthday party that is exactly how he wants it. (DONE. Post to come.)

08. Go on a flying adventure with Harry. (DONE X 2! Posts to come.)

13.  Create an herb garden. (DONE. Post to come.)

14.  Create a vegetable garden. (DONE.)

21.  Put on an inspirational event in San Francisco.  (DONE.)

22.  Throw a big party in New York City. (DONE. Post to come.)

17.  Learn to knit. (DONE.)

31.  Become a regular at the Farmers Market. (DONE. Post to come.)

32.  See the Marfa lights. (DONE. Post to come.)

ONGOING.

11. Establish 40 go-to recipes. (In the works.)

26. Make a soundtrack every quarter. (In the works.)

29.  Re-do Kirtsy’s back-end and front-end. (In the works.)

05. Re-do my great grandmother’s house. (In the works.)

37. Focus on construction (as opposed to deconstruction).

40. Learn the discipline of practicing gratitude.

NOVEMBER.

03. Develop the practice of walking. (Starting this! Whoohoo!)

09. Make my own perfume.

23.  Throw a dinner party on the San Marcos River.

15.  Carve a pumpkin that I grew and make a pie out of it.

DECEMBER.

24.  Have a gigantic garage sale.

10. Buy a piece of art.

12. Install a cheery porch swing.

36. Join a church.

JANUARY.

16.  Establish a house that smells like gardenias.

30.  Take a yoga class with Harry.

19.  Thoroughly read Just Use This Mind.

20.  Start a meditation practice.

25.  Start to write something and see what it turns into.

FEBRUARY.

18. Do my own laundry. (This is different than it sounds. I swear.)

04. Walk a marathon.

06. Take painting lessons.

27. Have a bizarre red dress photo shoot with old parade float decorations, and a beautiful red dress photo shoot in a place that I love.

38. Make and eat homemade ice cream with loved ones in the backyard.

39. Make myself this cake for my birthday.

STRETCH/EXTRAS:

01. Take Harry to Disneyland. (This has almost happened…twice!)

28. Have a picnic on a beach. Fly a kite on a beach. Have sex on a beach. (Not all at the same time.) (Picnic, Done! 7.7.10)

33. Drink whiskey at a pub in Ireland and scotch at a pub in Scotland.

34. Visit the Rosslyn Chapel

35. Attend a seder. (This is so not happening before February because it happens during Passover. I hope to do this in April though!)

Can I do it all?! Who cares?!!!

It will be fun to see what happens.

It was great to have some of my BFFs from home there.

And one of my super cool Kirtsy partners., Gabrielle Blair

(Babies are the new black, BTW)

(Also the new black…being named one of Time’s Best Sites of 2010! Go Design Mom!)

It was a really fun way to get together with some friends in NYC before the gigantic BlogHer conference.

Liz and Kristen from Cool Mom Picks (and Mom 101 and Motherhood Uncensored) stopped in. Gorgeousness.

And my superhero Liz Stanley.

The woman whom I’ve had on speed dial for the last two months (along with Jordan Ferney above), while putting together a collection of 84 pieces of art to be auctioned off for Gulf Coast Cleanup. It was fun to talk to her about something else for a few minutes.

She’s standing in front of the bathroom that I am stealing.

Heather Barmore looks like she’s up to something here.

And wouldn’t you love to know what Alice and Natalie are hearing back there. It appears to be both shocking and hilarious.

Joanna Goddard opened her first bottle of champagne

(I assume not the first she’s consumed, just the first she’s opened by herself)

And then Jenny promptly drank it.

(And friends, the Mumm champagne was over-the-top yum. My favorite: the red. Red champagne! Seriously.)

Speaking of champagne, I picked up some pomegranate seeds at a little shop on the way to the event.

Pomegranate seeds in champagne = Perfection.

I’ve been craving this almost every day since.

More perfection: Susan Wagner’s necklace.

Here’s another look at it, as she smiled with Chris Jordan (who lives up the road from me, but whom I never see except for when we’re in different states) and Happy Gretchen Rubin (who is 87 shades of awesome.)

And speaking of awesome, I give you: Isabel Kallman’s shoes.

Just think how awesome you would be if you wore these.

Think how high you could jump!

And on the subject of jumping, I’m not sure if this was because of the champagne or because of the shocking and hilarious news they were delivering a few photos above, but Zan and Antonia started to fling themselves out of the window.

Or perhaps they were just catcalling the neighbors.

It’s sometimes hard to tell.

Meanwhile, Jenny and also co-host Helen Jane and I were in the bathroom.

Of course, you may remember I am stealing this bathroom.

And Maggie and I toasted to Mighty Events.

It was a good time.

And you can win a super rad parting gift bag from this Federated Media cocktail party in New York.

A beautiful Lola Epiphanie camerabag stuffed with Photojojo’s Fuji Instax Mini 25 Instant Camera and film.

So amazing right?! I know. I hope you win it.

Just leave a message over at Mighty Girl (it’s linked here), and perhaps it could be yours. That would be awesome.