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The Padrino is Getting Married

May 5, 2014

If you grew up in a small town in the 1970s and 80s, and you related to the supporting characters in a John Hughes movie way more than you ever could to the actual, breathing individuals around you in your real life, then pull up a chair. Because this is our story.

And this story started before the Internet allowed us to find one another, before smart phones reconnected us every second, and before said phones were also TVs and alien tracking devices. Back when we waited all afternoon for our favorite song to be played on a radio station with terrible reception, just so we could quickly push record to capture it. Because you didn’t have a record store. You didn’t have a world wide everything to download anything. You had the people and things you could see, hear and touch within about a 10-mile radius. Small, safe, sound. Sorta. And that was your world.


And I was lucky enough to have Ken in my world. We met in first grade because we were put in the same reading group. There were probably about 150 kids in our grade, and three of us…Ken, Russell Merka and I…were put together to start reading the Rainbows anthology while everyone else tackled Lions and Tigers. Basically, what this means is, at recess Ken was Luke, Russell was Han and I was Leia. Obviously.

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ALT Summit: Things I’m Not Worried About

January 21, 2014

Photo credit: Alt Summit. Legs/Feet: Mine.

I just boarded the plane to this year’s Alt Summit, and started seeing a number of blog posts about how to prepare for Alt Summit. And man there are a lot of them. I’m already in the air and on my way, so there’s no preparing for me, but I thought, since this is my (I think) fifth year to attend the event, it would be interesting to read these ‘how to prepare’ and/or ‘what to expect’ posts.

And honestly, they totally stressed me out.

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Texas Water Safari.

June 17, 2013

This is my parents’ backyard. And this was my parents’ backyard the other day…filled with canoers rowing through on the world’s toughest canoe race.

And whenever this race happens, once a year, this is what my family does. We sit on the dock and root for the rowers. I missed this year because I was in town for BlogHer food, but my brother sent me this photo. Note the playpen on the dock. Around here, docks and babies go together like peanut butter and jelly.

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The Best Way to See a Concert with a Child

October 16, 2012

I may or may not have mentioned here that earlier this summer I took my niece, her friend and Harry to a One Direction concert. (Clearly, I think it’s important to take children to see quality live music in their formative years. Harry’s first concert was The Wiggles.) And I should know better…says me, the person whose parents had the foresight to take me to see Elvis for my first concert when I was one. One Direction on the other hand, well, you know, what it lacked in long-view cultural relevancy, it made up for in its sheer volume of tweens screaming, resulting in its sheer volume. It was a whole scene. But really nothing like the scene at ACL Fest this weekend.

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And Then I Went to See Twilight with a Wolf.

November 24, 2011

On Sunday, I went to see The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part One with Jenny and Maile. Yes. We did. Along with 84 kabillion other people, we made the people involved about $140 million this weekend. Which is especially crazy because this movie was terrible. Terrible. And I’m not picky about movies. But besides Happy Feet 2 (which was either a brilliant metaphor for something I totally don’t get, or it’s the worst movie ever), it’s the worst movie I’ve seen this week.

For starters:

1. Kristen or Kristin or Krystyn or whatever her name is (I don’t even care enough to look it up) / Bella is completely annoying. To be fair, the character in the book was exceptionally annoying as well. So she’s being faithful to the material and all that…but this actress turns it up to 11. And since the entire premise of the book is that four men are body slamming themselves for this chick and willing to give up their glamorous vampire and/or warewolf lives for her…I’m just seriously missing something here. Maybe it’s some weird guy thing. Not sure. Also, as every media outlet on the planet wants you to know, she dates that hottie kid Cedric Diggory in real life, so this is doubly confusing. Either I seriously don’t get dudes, or she’s a total beard and he’ll be out in five years or less. However, on the other hand and as you may know, she’s fantastic at public speaking. So there’s that. In fact, she even has an instructional video on this topic…

2. There’s an entire scene where the Werewolves are talking. Like a long, dramatic scene. Of wolves talking. About their feelings. If you are human, this is hilarious. I guess if you are a wolf, this is some kind of Rosebud moment. Not sure. I get that there are rarely great parts in films for warewolves, so this is a giant big deal for them. But speaking as a judgy human, ANNOYING!

3. There are three scenes segments (no really, three) featuring the inside circulation of Bella’s body. Even her blood vessels are annoying. It was basically the old Magic School bus inside the body cartoon. But painstakingly created in fancy CG to be a long transformation segment, prominently featured three times! Because two inside-the-human-body animations just aren’t enough.

I’m looking shocked. But only at how dumb this movie was. On the other hand, that shouldn’t be shocking at all. What is wrong with me?

The only redeeming parts about this movie:

1. This movie should for sure encourage any human teenage girl to always use a condom. Even with Cedric Diggory.

2. I went dressed as a vampire and Jenny wore an actual wolf. An actual wolf. On her head.

So that was good.


How to Throw a Party in Texas. (The SXSW Girl-Guy Party Edition)

March 17, 2010

If you’re planning to throw a party in Texas…specifically at SXSW…here are a few things that might help:

1. Interesting People. See above photo for 12 of them. Then add 12 + 438 = Awesome. Especially that dude in the lower right box. He’s a swell Guy to partner with when you’re ready to party.

(Feeling Happy with Gretchen Rubin)

2. A Rad Location. In our case, Allens Boots.

3. Good Music. Because this is SXSW, it is particularly important. Last year, we had Diane Birch, and look what happened to her. This year, we featured Bo Cox, who I predict will be bigger than Botox. Thank you Bo Cox. Thank you, Culture Map.

4. Excellent Food. Of course this is always important. And this year, we had a real chuckwagon serving up delights. Oh yes we did. Thanks, YouData and Werkadoo!

5. Swell Booze. Thanks to Shiner, and Canopy Management wines, Purple Cowboy and Middle Sister Wines.

6. A Photo Booth. This is particular entertaining when it occurs after the Swell Booze (see #5).

7. Plenty of Hay. If only so you can spend the day saying “Haaaaaaaaaayyy!” to everyone’s complete annoyance. Trust me, that’s fun.

Hugemongo thanks to these great companies who made the whole hoedown possible: Thank you again to: HP/@hp, Sticker Giant/@stickergiant, Starbucks/@starbucks, Realzi/@realzi, Culture Map/@culturemap, and Allens Boots/@allensboots! As well as Shiner/@shinerbeer, Evamor/@evamor, Bright Sky Press/ @brightskypress , YouData/@YouData, Werkadoo/@werkadoo and Canopy Management wines!

Y’all come next year!

(All photos completely stolen from Guy Kawasaki and Karen Walrond and KK, the best photobooth photographer ever. )

Basically The Best SXSW Party Ever

March 10, 2010

Tomorrow morning, I’m going to drive 20 miles south to borrow a truck, to visit a barn, to borrow 30 bales of hay.

Welcome to my new life.

And welcome to four days until basically the best SXSW party ever: The second annual Girl + Guy, Kirtsy + Alltop party.


The band is set. The photographers are ready. And the sponsors (Allens Boots, Starbucks, Shiner, Realzi, Sticker Giant, YouData, Culture Map, and HP) are geniuses.

Will we see you? The party is currently closed, but leave a comment if you want me to make sure you’re on the list.

Yeehaw, y’all.