A Ridiculous Tale of Incoordination + Discoloration, Told in Three Parts. Act III: The Finale.

December 14, 2012

Welcome to Part Three of the tale of broken bones, black eyes, failing, falling and flying. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Where have you been?! Living your life in a wonderfully fulfilling way? Oh, I see. Well, here you go then…A recap for you: Act One.  Act Two.  Caught up? Okay.

So Jenny and I were going to fly on the flying trapeze. And have you met us? It was a terrible idea.

But then again, we thought it was a brillant idea! Because of course we did.

So we arrived, ready to go…Jenny in her tutu and me in all black. We were going to be freaking trapeze stars. Or, at least that’s what Jenny thought….she was wearing the tutu after all. And as the saying goes ignorance is bliss… and Jenny was super blissful. I, on the other hand, was pretty darn nervous. See, I’d done this before, only not really because I couldn’t do it. And I knew what was ahead…the scary ladder…the knee-buckling platform…the abject failure. Who looks forward to that? Who enjoys uncomfortable, terrifying crap?

Jenny does.

But that’s an entirely different story. 

So back to the trapeze. Before I could get back on the trapeze, I had to do the stupid practice trapeze that I couldn’t do last time. The first stage of my failure. The place where I may or may not have pulled a hamstring. No one’s exactly sure. But for sure I knew I couldn’t do it. I started to explain this to James the Instructor (who I swear to God is Spiderman) and reason with him that I couldn’t do this part and I could only even maybe possibly do it in the air and this was never going to work and just shatter any confidence I actually had… but he was having none of it. He said of course I could do it and he forced me to attempt to hoist myself up and position myself into a hanging knee pose. He was like, ‘Girl, you can totally do this.’

And he was right. I totally did it.

I did it!

But now it was time to climb up and do it in the air.

While swinging. And holding up my Italian weight with my bird arms. Awesome.

I was nervous. Seriously nervous. And I don’t get nervous for anything. Sing naked in front of 10,000 people, no problem. Do pretty much anything else the first time, no problem. Do something that I’ve proven already that I can’t do,  that I’ve already failed doing…big problem. I was literally shaking.

So I swung.

And I couldn’t do the knee hang. Again.

I totally knew it.

Now it was Jenny’s turn.

She was delighted. And nervous. And confident.

My sweet friend with debilitating arthritis and all kinds of fears…she was fearless.

And then she basically fell off the platform.

But she didn’t die.

In fact, she flew.

Her story is beautiful…also, completely hilarious. Like I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard. But I’ll let her tell you that story.

You’ll really reeeeally want to buy her next book.

And because I didn’t do it the first time, I had to try again. Shoot.

So I climbed the stupid scary ladder again.

And I jumped off the platform again.

And this time….

This time I did it.


I tucked my knees up and in and over and I completely did the knee hang!

And I let go. I let it all go. And I swung through the air on my knees. On the sixth try…with the greatest of ease.

I proved to myself that I could do the flying trapeze.

And next time, next time, we’re bringing the kids so they can see first-hand how brave their moms are.

And Harry can see that this Harrison girl is not only the fragile, non-athletic type who too easily breaks her tailbone in the kitchen…I’m also the amazing girl on the flying trapeze.

That’s what he comes from.

And that’s what girls can do.

And now the fun part.

You can win a scary stupid extravagance. An exhilarating, extreme, amped-up experience. A bold challenge even.

Remember, I was taking the Jingos! Live Bold Challenge from Pepperidge Farm to do something daring. Bold. Extreme! And I did it! (and by it, I mean a flying trapeze knee hang! What?!) So now you the opportunity to win an experience Cloud 9 Living experience valued at $150. Sound fun? Visit Cloud 9 Living and make sure there are some activities offered near you. Leave a comment about what you’d do to LIVE BOLD and I’ll randomly pick a winner next Friday, December 21. What a Christmas gift, right? Do it. Do it!

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  • Reply Liz December 14, 2012 at 12:56 pm

    Yay you!!!!

  • Reply Joy December 14, 2012 at 6:54 pm


  • Reply Sara December 14, 2012 at 10:35 pm

    I would totally drive a stock car. With my dad.
    I am afraid of speed and crashes and also speed. So this would be like, a total THING, you know?

  • Reply kristen shields December 15, 2012 at 10:14 am

    What a cool thing to do, I’m so glad you tried again. Does it say something about me that all the food options on Cloud 9 appeal to me the most… 😡

  • Reply Victoria December 16, 2012 at 8:01 pm

    I looked at Cloud 9 and they have a Fencing class near me. I’d try that if I won. Anytime I see someone fencing in a movie, I always think How Neat! followed by OMG! so there’s a bit of fear for me probably because I think I wouldn’t be any good.

  • Reply Amanda December 16, 2012 at 11:06 pm

    Indoor skydiving looks super fun! And safe! And fun!

  • Reply Ceri McCandless December 16, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    This is the year that I skydive. Yes, I said that about 2012, too, but 2013 is really the year. Really. It has to be. I will skydive, or cliff jump, or some terrifying thing that gives me the feeling I had when I was 17 and stupid enough to jump off of bridges in the middle of the night for a little skinny-dipping. Because I miss that feeling. I want it back. So This Is The Year.

  • Reply Tracie Ware December 17, 2012 at 4:24 pm

    I am absolutely terrified of heights, but I would like to be fierce enough to try the Zipline Adventure.

  • Reply Natalie K. December 18, 2012 at 12:08 pm

    I would totally take fencing lessons!

  • Reply Isabel @alphamom December 19, 2012 at 7:52 am

    That was wonderful!!

    You are so brave. You may not realize the brave things you do every day, but I do.

    I love that you want to show Harry how badass you can be on the trapeze. I’ve done it before and that moment when you reach out for the bar with your second hand is the most terrifying moment of all. Also, i never even attempted the knee, hug tuck thing. I was proud that I reached out off the platform.

  • Reply Yvonne December 20, 2012 at 9:52 am

    I love you and Jenny so much. I checked out the website and saw zip line adventures. I definitely want to try that even though it scares the shit out of me.

  • Reply Emi Lee December 20, 2012 at 3:41 pm

    Sounds like fun…and so much to pick from. Merry Christmas!

  • Reply Tina January 3, 2013 at 12:56 pm

    I’ve totally been enjoying your blog today. Im completely entertained today at work, in between work, by your posts. SO THANKS. I needed a bit of smiling today and got that here.

  • Reply Mom2Summer Story: Archery for Perfectionists - Mom 2.0 Summit | April 29 - May 1, 2015 Scottsdale, AZ June 16, 2014 at 11:04 am

    […] the things we try that end up working out just fine. Those are really cool. (Remember that time Laura flew on the trapeze? Case in point.) Since we’ve been talking about plans and projects in June, we’ve […]

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