7. Throw Harry a Rad 5-Year-Old Birthday Party

November 30, 2010

As someone who sometimes throws parties for a living, I’ve found that I can insert my own ideas into what kind of party Harry wants. I’ve also discovered most ways to make anything 180 times more difficult than it needs to be. This is somewhat fine when you have an only child, who is turning an age between 0 and 4, but I figured 5-and-beyond was a whole new ball game. So I was resolved to take a back seat, and take some orders from the birthday boy. I told him he could have any kind of birthday he wanted.

He said he wanted a Tiger Woods party.

Right. Okay. I said anything. So. I figured we’d just order up some hookers and blow and call it a day.

I kid. After a few questions, I realized he thought Tiger Woods was a character on Wii, like Mario or Kirby or Zelda. After I explained that he was actually a real person (I think I said he was an actual real boring grownup who mainly talked about politics and taxes), Harry was less into him. He was still set on golf though. He wanted golf, and a trophy, and a lot of balloons.Completely fine. Done. (The invites are here)

. There’s a great putt-putt golf course in Austin that has been around since the 40s.

Perfect. In fact, my mother used to go to birthday parties here. So did my brother and I. It’s been set up for this kind of thing for years. (Easy. Awesome.)

It’s no surprise that the kids had a great time.

They took over the course, and in complete Montessori fashion sorta played in whatever order suited them. Hole 1, followed by hole 7, then over to hole 12, back to hole 4, and then on and on. They looked like little ants roaming around to do random tasks, tasks like hitting a ball through a pig’s castle.

Then they had pizza from Home Slice.

And then came the sugar. Sugar is like the Olympics to the Montessori kid. It only happens every so often, and they usually only see it on TV.

Ha! I kid. Who owns a TV? Not us! No way. Total waste of time.

(We totally own a TV.)

(Also, we serve children sugar. Lots of sugary sugar.)

Then my dad started telling the sugared-up children stories about the olden days when you could bring peanut butter to school. This is when everyone started to grab their kids and head home. Good timing. I always suggest strategically placing a grandfather to get a party wrapped up. It works, y’all.

All in all, it was the easiest party I’ve ever done for him. It involved three phone calls, a balloon pick up, and setup on ready picnic tables. In the end, the place was low-key ready, the golf was plentiful, and the pizza was delivered.

And it was exactly how Harry wanted it.

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  • Reply elz November 30, 2010 at 1:47 pm

    I wondered how a Tiger Woods party would turn out…glad you opted for golf!

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