Grocery Store Drama
This morning I went to the grocery store closest to my house to get a few items to make something for lunch. Because I work somewhere where sometimes people all bring gourmet items for lunch and pool resources. Don't ask. I usually bring the drinks. But today I was making one of the few excellent items I can throw together (watch for Friday's recipe) which is what brought me to the store at the dawn of crack. And as I was walking across the tiny parking lot a man and his wife were doing the same. And then he swung back and hit her. Backhanded slapped her. Across the face. In front of God and everyone. And she just took it, and kept walking.
I stopped.
I couldn't move forward, and I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. A man in struck a woman right in front of me, and I was shocked still. I didn't know what to do. So I did nothing. Nothing. I'm still reeling a bit from it, so I can't imagine how much she's reeling. Even if she's used to that. You never get used to that.
I stopped.
I couldn't move forward, and I couldn't believe what I'd just seen. A man in struck a woman right in front of me, and I was shocked still. I didn't know what to do. So I did nothing. Nothing. I'm still reeling a bit from it, so I can't imagine how much she's reeling. Even if she's used to that. You never get used to that.
posted by Girl con Queso at 8:21 AM
20 Comments:
I once saw a guy king hit a girl he didn't know in the pub I worked in in London. I still don't think I am over it. It's a horrible thing to witness.
Goodness, I cannot imagine. I am sorry that you had to see that. I hope your day gets better.
That's one of those moments that paralyzes - then, of course, after you get home, thousands of things run through your mind about what you could have done or not.
I would have reacted the same way.
What a horrible thing, to see and to have to endure. Did you get the license plate, maybe? You could file a report? I don't know...how awful.
The worst part is that people don't get used it. They don't have to adjust to it because that is all they know. I volunteered for three years with domestic violence victims, their kids, and their families and while I could never understand or imagine it, it was their normal. They couldn't understand how I could be single, childless and happy. We all have our own normal, and that some people's normal is violence and abuse is horrible and sad.
What could you have done?! Probably nothing. Staying in an abusive relationship seems to be something like that invisible fence for dogs. You did what is probably the best and most helpful thing: keep the discussion alive and people aware.
Interfering can be incredibly dangerous for the person being abused, and for the person getting involved. One time, I got spit upon!
That's terrible. I witnessed the same thing on the streets of Belgium about 20 years ago. I wanted to do something about it, but the person I was with reminded me that under that couple's religious tenants he had the right to smack her like that. I had a really hard time any religion would endorse such a thing, but I did nothing as well.
I still remember it and it still makes me sick.
I once dated a guy like that. And then when I didn't anymore, I became a WHOLE NEW WOMAN.
Because trust me, if a man ever tried to do that to me again? HE'D GET THE BEATDOWN OF HIS LIFE.
Sucks you saw that. And the thing is, you probably couldn't do anything. Because if you did? She'd probably get it worse later. All we can do is just hope and pray she finds the strength to leave.
wow. That is awful. It scares me to think about what he must when he is NOT in public...
There is a culture here in my area that seems to be more abusive to women. I see things in Walmart that look dangerously close to this and it worries me....
Good for you, Chookooloonks! Hurrah!
That happened once in our grocery store. The manager wrestled the guy to the ground and called the cops. He told him no one hits a woman around him. creepy. I feel bad for her. What else does she endure?
And now Bossy is unmoving, shocked, stuck at her monitor with her tongue on the desk.
How awful. :(
**stunned speechless**
Julie
Using My Words
We have a couple on our block that dance this morbid ballet. Once they were in their truck, she driving and he fist beating her so that she literally pulled into our front yard and stopped the truck. My youngest was physically ill and emotionally upset for days. The police were called and she refused to admit what happened, she "ran into a door jam". The above incident happened over 6 years ago. They still live on the block and still dance every weekend.
I worry about the children who have learned this is a healthy relationship.
I'm stunned. I feel the same way when I see someone hit their child. Maybe even more stunned when it's a child. Oh that there was some perfect thing we could say or do to make it stop.
My God. I have about eight things going through my head that all start with "Man, if I was there, I'd have..."
But I just don't know. I don't know what I'd have done; possibly just stood there, stunned. I'm sorry you had to see that.
How horrible. I'm sorry you had to experience that.
It's hard to react instantly. You could try to file a report with the police. In some places, they prosecute domestic violence regardless of whether the victim will testify or not.
On the other hand, the police might not have done anything anyway. I once reported a woman I saw violently shaking a small child in a Wal-Mart in Texas. The police and child protective services refused to do send anyone, saying they were short-staffed and couldn't do anything unless it was more severe. They said all they could do was take her licencse plate, cross-check for other complaints, and keep it on file for future reference. I got the license plate number and phoned it in, but the entire situation made me feel so helpless. I wanted to intervene, but feared that would only make the situation worse for the child.
It's a horrible situation to be in. I'm sorry you had to experience it.
Thanks guys. No worries about me though. The experiencing it from my end was nothing in comparison to experiencing it from her perspective. It was just a reality check for me...a reminder that could be anyone's reality. But it should never be.
That is really horrible. There may not have been anything you can do in the moment, but there is a ton you can do in general. The most important thing that you are doing (a great job of!) is that you are raising a little man to respect women and to protect those who are vulnerable instead of using violence against them. A theologian I like talks about how children are a statement of hope in a violent world. I am thankful that a mom like you is raising the next generation of men. tish
God.
Just...God.
I couldn't have moved.
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