I love this concept of being hospitalized for exhaustion. Because I like to know that when you’re just so tired that your brain is tired, your cells are tired, your hair is tired—so tired that, you’re exhausted even—you can check yourself in somewhere and rest. Maybe like when you’re the mother or father of three-month-old […]
Is this what they really mean when they say “America’s Got Talent”? Or this? Or this? I mean, I’m not one to judge. Really. But when I’m fencing in jello with stuffed animals, or playing the ukulele with my electric mixer, or doing the rumba with my naked blow-up doll, I only subject a select […]
“Excuse me. Your son is scaring my child.” “My son? This one? But he’s not that scary. And he’s a lot younger than your son.” (said partially confused; and frankly, partially impressed) “Yes. But. He’s scaring my son with his pacifier.” “Wha, huh? “My son has never seen anything like that before. And he’s scared […]
J: I can almost personally blackout on Hipster Bingo. Except for the four-foot-tall girl. And the ironic mustache. I think I should probably grow a mustache. T: I think you’re too old to have irony on your face.
Weekend Celebrity Sighting: Michael Gross, the brilliant author of 740 Park, made an appearance in our little queso room. So read his book. It’s completely interesting. It’s set in our favorite city. And it features a Lockhart Watermelon Thump Queen.* For these and many other reasons, a giant hola and mucho props go out to […]
One time I met someone named Paige Turner. Really. No one else I was with that day thought her name was nearly as funny as I did. Paige didn’t even smirk. On a related note, we’re going to the beach this weekend. And people keep asking me for summer beach reading suggestions. If my name […]
You should know that (I’m fairly sure) I will spy all the characters to mark the card, blackout, and kick your arse, simply by walking from my desk and the nearest coffeepot. Because this summer my office has been invaded by approximately 17,000 interns who appear to have just stepped off the set of That […]
Not all that long ago, people under the age of 50 were ridiculed for drinking coffee. It’s true. This kind of coffee hate may have been an oddity restricted to central Texas like this, or this, or this. But I think not. I think if we’re honest and can remember that far back…before the lower […]
Someone please buy this. And then let me in on the exact date of the Brangelina demise. I’d really like the win the office pool.
You knew it was coming. The random iTunes sorting smackdown. And there’s no cheating. The songs will simply appear at the will of the Apple gods. I just set my iPod (that was very handed down from very brilliant husband when he got his very video iPod) to shuffle, and away we go… First song:“I […]