A Vacation In My House

I'll admit it. The past two weeks have been pretty rough. I've had a lot going on at work. A lot going on at home. A lot going on between 9 p.m. and 2 a.m. A lot of goings on running around in my brain. And I was tired.

Worn out.

I might even use the word, overwhelmed.

And by last Friday, I was borderline useless. A lump of pathetic, waking up at the dawn of crack with the most energetic cavetoddler on the planet. 

It occurred to me then that a look at the two of us was a poloroid of extremes. My husband got the picture. And said, "That's it." He took the Hurricane to his mom's this weekend with orders that I was to rest and sleep and do fun things only. He said, "Do. Not. Work. I mean it. No working. Only sleeping."

This is only one reason why he is my favorite person on the planet. 

And so I had a vacation. At home.

And about 10 minutes into the silence, I realized it was the first time I've been alone in my home since August of 2005.

Almost three years. And that made me cry. With joy. And with exhaustion. And from a truly grateful place, I was thankful for the 1,000 plus days of movement and noise and cra-za-zy from the commotion of souls. And extremely thankful for the 24 hours of silence.

Shame Shame Everyone Knows Your Name

Shame is the new Hitler. 

That's right. I said it.

It's garbage. And the word is out. Out. We're on to the crap shame creates. And we're so over it. 

This generation. Our generation. We're taking it down.

I see the rumblings and movings of this everywhere.  And I know, I know, I know that a movement is starting. A change in the way we look at the world and each other.  A movement, people! 

Maybe. 

If we keep talking about it.

And Brene' Brown is talking about it.  (I heard her speak last week. She's absolutely amazing. She blogs too! Follow her. I'll be talking much more about her later this week. Watch for it.)

Chris Rock's mom is talking about it. (Check out her book...review and GIVEAWAY on cool stuff today. It's seriously seriously good. )

And I'm telling you people, the shame is going down. We know its name. And its name is dead to us. You watch. 

Things will change.

Join the movement.

Loves Me Some Corn Dog

Where The Heck Have You Been?!!!

This is the question that I got asked this week. A lot. A real whole lot.

Because, sure, I did unintentionally take a little hiatus for three weeks. The longest amount of time since I started this bad boy two years ago. But it was an accident. Sort of.

See, I just didn't post for a couple of days, which turned into a week, which turned into another and so on. And you were cool about it. Until this week. Then I started getting the question. A lot. A few of my favorites.

"What happened to the Queso? I haven't seen you post in a while? Or is this one of those nightmare things where your family moves and no one bothers to tell you?" -Em

"Did you die. Write me and tell me if you did."  Isobel

"I'm sick of that yoga lady picture. Make it stop."  Rebecca

"Dude." -Jenny, the Bloggess

So I'm back. If anyone's still out there checking to see if the yoga lady picture is gone, or at least lower on the page. 

Here's a look at what I was doing while I was unexpectedly away:

1. Not blogging. I was twittering some and sk*rting a bit. But just not blogging. No one knows why. Not even me.

2. I have become addicted to a dumb show on iTunes (and probably on TV somewhere) called Greek. It's like 90210 but with frat houses and text messaging. In other words, it's completely craptastic and totally not worth blogging about. Unless some of the rest of you watch it. And then, let's talk about Cappie and why he's so completely repulsive and yet attractive. Weird. And Rebecca? What's up with her? And how can you not love Dale the Bible kid? For starters.

3. I went to New York to see friends and ended up working some. And talking on the phone a lot. About work. I also went to a super fun sk*rt meetup. So there was that. 

4. I hung around with Jenny.  She did not slash my tires.  She's all talk.  Or type. Whatever.

5. I re-read the book The Bright Side of Disaster by Katherine Center. Because tonight sk*rt is doing a LIVE book party with Katherine. That's right LIVE. Its going to be like American Idol. And the presidential debates. So I'm expecting some fantastic singing and name calling about who's the better American. Or maybe just book talk over mexican food and beer. This will be taking place in Texas after all, where everything happens over mexican food and beer. It's just what we do.  Want to join us? Visit sk*rt tonight at 8 p.m. Central (9 Eastern, 7 Mountain, etc.)

6. Lots of other things. So I'll have a lot to say. I'm back.

Six Simple Words Can Communicate Volumes.

Last summer I met Larry Smith of Smith Magazine, the purveyors of the six-word essay. You know. It is all the rage. And the gist is pretty obvious. You tell a story in six.

Like for Eliot Spitzer: She wasn't worth the hourly rate. See? Get it?

It's very Zen. And speaking of. I was in a Bikram yoga class last weekend doing the 26 poses, slipping into a heat-induced purple haze when I started thinking in six words. Maybe it was a Zen thing. Maybe I didn't have enough liquid in my brain, but I started to think. In sixes. And then I thought, six words is way more than enough to communicate what is really important in life. In fact, we should all stick to the sixes. Or even fewer. And start to consciously communicate more with less. Like...

You are one of my favorite people.
I'm lucky to know you.
You are enough.
I love you.
You matter.
Breathe.

Ah. Zen. Wouldn't the world be such a better place if we all practiced it. If we were more succinct. More direct. More with less. And then I thought, wow, yoga really does do wonders for your soul.

And then the instructor came over, looked at me with sympathy and spoke a volume with six simple words...

'Hi, this is the advanced class.'

Nice.

So much for Zen.

(Sorry Karen! Love you!)

Balls.

Okay sure, I know nothing about sports. But I do know that they're really popular with the kids these days. And other people too. Maybe.

I also know these things:

1. The Dynamo won their CONCACAF quarterfinal game against Guatemala's Municipal team last night. So there's that. Plus, while witnessing this, I consumed an artificially-colored bright orange margarita. You know. Team spirits.

2. The Final Four. Or Sweet Sixteen. Or Awesome Eight. Or whatever. It's happening now. And if you're like the HcQ, you are flying to Tulsa to watch your favorite team that's playing in Washington D.C. And really, I don't ask. I just assume that televisions and high-definition technologies are far superior in Oklahoma. Because obviously that would be so.

3. I just heard about this excellent way to potentially win tickets to the 2008 NCAA Division I Men's Basketball Championship South Regional Finals on both March 28 and March 30 2008. Check it out. If you can't watch the games televised in Tulsa, you might seriously consider trying to win this chance to see them live in Houston.

4. Over an impromptu dinner tonight with these girls, I learned that Rockets Power Dancers might have drunkorexia because they allegedly love a new drink that I like to call The Drunkorexia because it only contains 40 calories. That's less than 100-calorie Pringles, y'all. Do the math. And making the soon-to-be-famous Drunkorexia, is actually simpler than math. Of course. You just combine water, Absolut Citron and two lemon segments in a glass. And bam. Drunkorexia. Serve it with heaping yummy bowls of air. And enjoy.

5. Of course, if all sports featured antics like this, I'd watch more sports.

6. And that's all I've got on sports.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Five years ago today, I said a prayer of thanks and excitement and blessing in St. Patrick's Cathedral right after my favorite person surprised me in Central Park with a ring and a question.

I answered with a yes.

And I've been thankful ever since. And I can't think of a better reason to celebrate with green beer. Lots and lots of green beer.

Sk*rt Cupcakes and Unicorns Go Together Like Sarah Jessica and Parker.

The sk*rt get together, sponsored by Everyday Food, was all that. There were goody bags. There were freebies. There were cupcakes. Plus also a unicorn. We had a fantastic time meeting sk*rt users, eating breakfast and handing out super-cool swag. It was such a great way to start the morning — thanks for joining us!

10 lucky winners received a one-year subscription to Everyday Food plus a goody bag with two super-cool items: a counter top magazine holder (to rest your latest issue of the magazine against while you’re cooking), and a darling green storage box sized to fit a whole year’s worth of Everyday Food — plus, everybody who dropped by was delighted to receive a copy of the lastest issue.

SXSWi is the kind of place where crazy is the norm. So when the unicorn (who was popping up in all the coolest places) made an appearance, we considered it an honor of the highest sort.

And really, what’s better than meeting a unicorn over a cupcake breakfast?

The correct answer: Nothing.

SXSW + SK*RT = LOVE

So the sk*rt chicks made it to SXSWi. And it only took 8 to make the 2.5 hour trip. It was kinda complicated. But we're here. Well, almost. We'll be at the actual event in a few hours. I've been to the music portion of the week a couple of times, and it's amazing. So I'm really looking forward to seeing what the interactive little brother is all about. I've heard it's like a Geeky-Disneyland-Circus on steroids. Sounds fantastic to me.

So the sk*rt chicks will be there. Handing out mints. Because fresh breath is a priority in our lives.

We're even hosting a little SXSWi get together Sunday morning. And you are so invited. If you are going to be anywhere near Austin this weekend, here's the official announcement:

Meet us at City Hall Sunday, March 9th! Swing by Austin Java (301 West 2nd Street) at 9 a.m., and we’ll all be there for an hour or so (or more, or longer or however long we want) and we’ll hang. It’s super close (steps away) from the convention center, so if you’re going to SXSWi, you’ll be right there.

We might even have cupcakes.* Because we’re crazy like that.

Of course, we know that there’s a lot happening on 3/9, so we’re getting an early start…with coffee… and sk*rt lovers…and breakdancers**… and trained monkeys***, and then even more coffee****.

We can’t think of a better way to start a day. You can even let us know you’re coming if you visit the event listing at Upcoming.

And! This just in! Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia and their awesome magazine Everyday Food have just let us know they’ll be giving 10 subscriptions plus 10 cool counter top magazine holders to 10 random people there. So, the most random people win. Kidding. But something like that. Plus, everyone who comes will receive a copy of the latest Everyday Food issue. You know, to read if a SXSW speaker gets boring. It could happen.

We hope you come — we'd love to meet you.

Kisses,
the sk*rt chicks

*Cupcakes could be anything.

**Okay, so not really breakdancers.

***And probably not monkeys. Probably.

****Also, herbal tea, or juice, or gin, or whatever.

And now for something completely different.

Girl con Queso (GcQ)

I've been a little bit obsessed with the South Park Studio
make your own South Park character website.
See?

Husband con Queso (HcQ)

Because it's just fun make short, squatty, foul-mouthed creatures based on those you love.


The Hurricane


Or based on Britney Spears. Britney Spears

Yeah that's right, I'm Girl Hussein con Queso

There's a lot happening in the world today. Sk*rt had a day at the spa, a makeover and is looking lovely. Evan Rachel Wood has lost her mind. And the US is firing missiles in Somalia. There's a lot going on. And the MOMocrats created this funny little meme to show just how silly politics has become.

Because apparently we're no longer making fun of people's mothers, we're making fun of their middle names. Because that matters. And we have nothing else to discuss, really.

And upon hearing this important news, the first question that comes to mind is: How dumb, lame and brainless do political pundits think we are? Please raise the bar people. Or it's going to be a reeeeeeeaaalllly long stretch until November. A really long stretch of crap.

Because even though I've voted in the primary already, I'm not 100% sure at this moment who I'm voting for in the election. But this kind of garbage is annoying.

And lame.

And I'm paying attention.

And that's enough politics (last three posts... sorry peeps but it's what's happening around here) for now.

Gah, when is Gossip Girl back on again?

Texas Early Voting Stats

This photo was taken by Glennaa 

He early voted a few days ago at the same spot I did.

He also took a photo of the line inside.

This is exactly what my line looked like. Only mine was 3X as long.

I just got back from voting. I didn't end up having enough time on Wednesday to fight the lines, so I hit it first thing this morning. So did a whole heck of a lot of other people.  Have I mentioned the line yet? I'm not sure I can convey to you how many people who live near me decided to vote this morning in wind-around Six Flags queues of many. Thankfully, it all moved really fast.  

Hints: I definitely should have brought a book for the liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, or a camera, or a friend, or a snack, or some Mad Libs.  I had none of these things. I also couldn't get Twitter to work while I was in the liiiiiiiiine, so instead I kept it cool old school and im-ed with Jen Lemen. Because we're nerdtastic. (Thanks for making the line more fun JL.)

Here's what it looked like in numbers:

Number of people in parking lot with signs: 57

Number of inflatable animals in parking lot with signs: 2

Number of news crews trying to interview the people with signs and inflatable animals: 2

Number of Obama supporters in parking lot: 0

Number of Hillary supporters in parking lot: 5

Number of people who offered me a Hillary sticker in parking lot: 7

Number of Twitter friends I saw leaving as I was walking in: 2 

Number of people in line outside of the building: 37

Number of people in line inside the building: A billion, give or take

Number of people typing in line: 94 (I counted)

Number of copies of Eat, Pray, Love spotted in line: 11

Number of copies of Eat, Pray, Love that I coveted in line: 11

Number of elected officials named in plaques on the walls by the line: 23

Number of elected officials named in plaques on the walls by the line who are currently in jail: 2

Number of times I thought about cupcakes while standing in the line: 128

Total time spent standing in line: 42 minutes 

Time spent checking in: 1 minute

Time spent voting: 2 minutes 

Time spent talking to the nice volunteers afterwards about the caucus next Tuesday: 18 minutes

So that's it. I voted. I'll be causing too next Tuesday evening.

And I'll be Twittering that.

So help me Twitter.

I'm hoping they'll have cupcakes. 

And then I'll shut up.

I'm going to go to a lunch today with a certain daughter of a certain President. Me and lots of others, mind you. And there will be a lot going on, and a lot of really fantastic kids being helped, so I won't be asking her about her upcoming wedding or her fave Chuy's marg flavor. At least, I probably won't.

Then, after that, I'm going to vote. Because in Texas we can vote early this week, and I'm already hearing that the lines for early voting are super long, so I can't even imagine what it's going to be like next Tuesday.

Because a lot of people are paying attention this time. We've seen all 20 debates. And read all the issues. And taken the quiz on our perfect match. Of course we all have.

And I thought I knew my choice.

But then I saw this site and the video it features.



And I love it. Because it's so how it is.

Really, this is how we really roll down here. Walk down any street. Odds are you'll be greeted by any number of matching-outfit mariachi bands singing about whatever is on their minds. Our city streets are basically mariachi operas. Really. Sometimes we even ride our horses and shoot our guns in the air. Like we just don't care. All the while keeping perfect time on our guitars and maintaining perfectly styled necktie bows.


So, not totally because of this kooky ad. But kinda. And also for about 105 other reasons, in this time and in this election, I'm saying Viva Obama con Queso! Si se puede!

Happy Birthday Oscars Flag Day con Queso to Me

So I'm back. After much unusual, essentially crappy activity last week, everyone's better, well, rested and not whining all day long, more like the normal 60%. It's awesome.

Plus, today we're celebrating because I'm 107. I know you're surprised to hear it. Many have told me I don't look a day over 92. I cling to that good news and am eternally grateful for those generous words.

(Can you tell I've been watching a real whole lot of The Tudors lately? And therefore my good friends, this is why I will be using verbiage like cling, papal, bosom, besotted, excommunicate and ye verily.)

Plus according to my lovely little mac widget entitled "Today's Reason to Drink":

It's February 24, 2008:

Wave your shot of tequila in the air, because it's Flag Day in Mexico!

Looks like tequila's in order. So exactly as we did last year, we'll be spending the Oscars sipping a little something we call Beergaritas. And again, as we did last year, we'll spread the yeeehaw love with official Texas con Queso Ya'll Stolen from Jenny Beergarita Recipe.

Jenny's (Yeeeeehaw Ya'll) Beergarita

1 can Lime juice frozen concentrate (Limeade)
1 of the above can's full of Tequila
1⁄2 (more or less) of the Lime juice can of Triple Sec
1 of the lime juice can's of 7-Up
1 bottle of Corona

Mix above all together, serve over ice and get lit.

(If Hillary would just stop yelling about direct mail pieces (yawn), and get down here and start making these bad boys for a variety of people, I'm telling you, she'd be doing much better in the Texas polls. Hear that Hillary's people? Call me for more tips on winning Texans' hearts. Or on getting lit. You're gonna need to be doing one or the other.)

And only a few more hours until the Oscars, when I predict all the winners and take everyone's money. It's just sad. We'll chat more on that on Monday. But until then, I won't tell you how I'll be voting. I'll just say no matter what you'll be drinking, I drink your milkshake. I drink it up.

Mmmm. Cake, beergaritas and milkshakes. Yum.

We're so going to be sick again this week.

What a difference a few hours makes.

It's all fun and games...

Until the puking starts.

And continues.

Until 4 a.m.

More tomorrow. We're still recovering.